currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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