the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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