Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
