I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
