He is such a slut. More and more my type.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
