You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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