Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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