My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize