Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
