Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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