we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
