God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
