don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
