i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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