something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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