so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
birth control should be required to get into college
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
