I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
