we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
