Dual....:-)
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
