He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
