I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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