I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
As shirtless as possible
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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