I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
