I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize