With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
