Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
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I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
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It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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