He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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