she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
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last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
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Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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