SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
