so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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