Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize