You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I showed him my bush... on skype.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
