i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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