last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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