i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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