he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
