also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize