are you so shy because you have an std?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Did I show you my penis last night?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
