Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
