I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
