Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
