hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
