oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
