too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
