We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
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I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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