Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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