before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
