grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
