I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
