for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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