I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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