Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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