News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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