I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
