I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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