the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My feet surprised me
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
