I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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