I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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