so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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